Hello to all my technicolored friends and readers! It's ya boi Tony here. ✧・ﾟ: * ✨ Welcome, welcome to all the new readers, and welcome again to those people in the back whose been with me since the very first day of Madness and Merriment.
For those of you who witnessed the move from Blogspot to Wix, you probably know of the struggle I went through (the should I or should I not delete it) of managing the blog. Most of my close friends told me to keep the Blogspot up because it would be such a waste to delete everything I put up there, but as we all know, I opted to make a new one, with the same... everything. I eventually ended up deleting all of my Blogspot's content but still kept it up because the place means a lot to me and holds a lot of sentimental value. As you've read, most of the content here were selected and republished from Blogspot. I hope you don't mind. As for life lately, what has been going on with me these past few months? The last blog post I made on Blogspot was in early January 2016. A lot had happened since then, but I'd rather keep everything to a very lately time.
❤ Progress - Church and Ministry It has been one full year since I became part of the Ministry for Youth Affairs. I like to talk about my part in the ministry very much. It had all been a joy, a pleasure, an honor, a struggle, and a challenge-- being part of this group.
If the fact that you were handpicked from hundreds of young Catholics in the diocese to be part of the group that leads and nurtures them doesn't frighten you half to death, then I don't know what else is more terrifying. There was a lot of questioning on my part, there were endless why mes that I never really got a proper answer to, and my commitment was tested to the point where I gave up most of my I wants for the I musts.
Late last year, I almost submitted a resignation letter to our coordinator, Kuya Gab, because I couldn't handle the pressure of being a chosen one. That, and I wanted to stay at home at Transfi more for the kids. Not a lot of people knew about this crisis going on in my head and in my heart. It's difficult to talk about even to the people I am closest to.
But I know why. I was so overwhelmed by this great love that the Father has for me, and it terrified me. And because I was so scared, I ran away. I mean, who exactly was I and why did my Father favor me so much? I have never questioned my worth so much in my entire life. I never stopped responding to the call, even though I was truly confused with what was happening in my life. He remained my rock, even though I was hesitant to call out His name.
It was comforting to know that even when I walked in this desert of confusion and spiritual dryness, He was never far away. He was always there. His presence never left my life, and He always made sure that I knew that He was there.
Perhaps there really was a reason why I ended up never sending my resignation letter. A certain friend of mine made me realize that this is not just something I can turn my back on, that this wasn't something I can let go of so easily, that this was something I had to see out until the very end. Throughout our retreat and planning, I was crying and trying to distract people from my crying. I knew why I was crying so much. I understood now that despite my sinfulness and unfaithfulness, that even though I ran away, this God will never abandon me, and He will never take back His call.
Years ago, He called me to be holy, to be loving, to serve. That call remains up to this very day, and for the rest of my days to come. But it truly is a gift, this ministry. God has taken me to so many places. I've met so many people along this journey, and apart from imparting my knowledge to them, I learned and gained so much more than I could ask for. I was blessed with a family of young leaders, with lasting friendships built on a common goal: to love and serve.
And now, I am also blessed with a parish youth ministry. I am bent on furthering the parish youth ministry of Transfi because... perhaps once they experience what I have experienced, once they get a glimpse or a taste of it, only then will they truly and finally understand this ever so sweet love that has been showered so generously on me.
Kabataang Transfi 2018 is currently in the middle of its campaign and inviting new members. It took me two years before I realized that I may never earn the previous PYM's loyalty because they've known Jet as their coordinator for the longest time. I understand that theirs is a friendship built on years and years of love and trust... So here I am building my own (lol).
But in all seriousness, this PYM will remain with the parish even when it's my time to go. They will not follow me to wherever I will go because their duties remain here, at home. Of course, I need them to understand that while we may not be young forever, we carry in our hearts at all times the beautiful days of our youth spent glorifying our God, and why it's important to keep it going, to keep on bringing more young people to church. They need to know that a God so good and so loving has a plan for them.
I was overwhelmed by the enthusiasm they showed with regards to inviting more young people. Heck, they even campaigned on their own while I was away for the retreat and planning, and now they want to practice animation songs! Their eagerness to share their blessings moved me to tears, to be completely and vulnerably honest. (Y'all know I'm a crybaby.) Now, if this isn't God's love raining on me (and this PYM), then I don't know what love is.
There are struggles. There will be struggles. This youth ministry of ours still cannot sustain itself on its own, like everyone else's. But these are mere challenges, and they teach me to depend on God more than myself, and to trust and rely on the PYM more.
❤ Projects
Oh, wow, I get to talk about my recent projects? What have I been up to anyway?
Earlier last year, Fr. Joel and I designed a logo for next year's celebration of the Year of the Clergy & Consecrated Persons (in preparation for the 500th year of Christianity in the Philippines). I am so happy that I get to use my craft to glorify the good Lord bc everyone knows how kind and loving He has been to me. (Yes, before you go asking, FR. JOEL AND I MADE THIS.)
I bet a lot of people think that Fr. Joel's artist is some kind of a computer expert but really it's just me in front of the PC.
My church bros Jet and Jeriel are currently developing a fitness app and left the logo designs to me. (On a side note, Jet got married recently and I was daydreaming at his wedding the whole day.)
Playtribe is Jet's brainchild dream app turned reality since he assembled his team of programmers. The logo is pretty much a rough draft. I like how it looks, but only the guys know if it fits the aesthetic they're aiming for. I'm kind of proud of this because it's been a while since I actually made a logo from scratch. It's not really the nicest and sharpest, but it's a work in progress. ❤ Progress - Self
Well, what can I say? I have no other social life apart from church and youth stuff, so what's there to talk about here?
Just kidding. A lot has been going on in my head for the past few years. (The ticking never stops.) 2017 was a particularly difficult year for me, as I had to let go of several people and let them move on with their lives, as I have. I was perfectly fine parting ways with them, even though I left rather quietly, and all I can do now is watch them be happy from afar, which is what I've always wanted for them. I was never really the best at maintaining relationships with a lot of people. My friends from grade school would know because I barely get in touch with them.
Figures. Grade school was an extremely stressful period for me, as my family and I had to move from Quezon City to Antipolo City, and my word, I most especially hated my last two years in grade school to the point where I developed trust issues with almost anyone. Fortunately, it's been years since that happened and I managed to overcome... Just kidding. I think I'll never get over these trust issues because God knows how many times I've been emotionally betrayed (lol).
To be honest, there really isn't that much to talk about regarding my personal growth. I think I address my self issues pretty well in all of my other blog posts.
(Well, then what's the point of this Life Lately post if you aren't gonna talk about your life lately, bruh?)
2018 is the year of self-love. It was only in 2012 when I made peace with myself and my insecurities. I like how I am now: a little pretty, a little witty, and a lot of sweet. It's never wrong to be kind to yourself. I know that I made a lot of life-changing decisions and mistakes the past few years, but I'm not breaking my back over them. I'm forgiving myself because I know that no one else will do it for me. People can talk about me all they want, but my choices are my choices and if they make me happy, then who are they to talk?
Loving myself has made me even more appreciative of who I am, and made me a whole lot prettier (lol). It also taught me how to appreciate other people, though there are moments when I can still be a brat and all. It's only the start of the year, but I feel like I made a lot of progress with myself. There are limits that still need to be pushed, and I still have a lot to learn, but thank God I can finally say that I'm back on track. (Yeaaaah!)
Be proud of your progress, please. Small progress is still progress. And I hope that you don't ever get shamed for how you recovered.
2018 is the year of the full-fledged adult. Or at least I'm trying. It really isn't easy looking for a job these days. I went to several job interviews a few weeks ago and had no luck. Nevertheless, I believe in God's providence, and He will lead me somewhere... somewhere good.
I turn 25 this year! (Why am I even excited for this? I'm already going through a quarter-life crisis as we speak.) My driver's license will also expire this year, so I'm gonna have to renew it. (Oh, the agony...) What do I want to attain once I reach the age of 25? Probably a later curfew (lol), but hey, progress is progress. I get to stay out as late as 10 pm, and I'm proud of it.
This is pretty much everything that I have to say about my life lately. How have you been?
Stay hydrated, y'all.
